‘One of the hardest thing I believe for parents to do for their children is to admit when they are wrong and apologize to their children. I believe the parents don’t want to admit when they are wrong because it will somehow undermine their authority, it will make them appear less, weak, not the king of the hill.
What those parents are not understanding is the children are smart, they know when the parents made a mistake. When the parents won’t admit it, it makes them look like hypocrites and thus the parents start losing respect of their children
The parent begin to take notice of this disrespect and then instead of figuring out what the problem is, how they, the parents can earn it back, the start demanding their children give them respect. This causes increased turmoil within the child because, they have learned that respect is earned not just given. But here they are in a paradox, they feel as though they “should” give their parents respect because they are in fact their parents; however, it goes against everything they have been taught even by their very own parents.
The children develop this internal paradox of internal conflict. The demand of the parents for the child to GIVE them the respect they think they should HAVE and child feeling frustrated their parent don’t follow the same rules they demand of their own children.
What parents miss is they do not realize they will build more respect and greater trust with their children when they find the courage to be honest with them. To share with them that they are people too. Additionally, they will be teaching their children how to deal with their children and thus causing the cycle of hypocrisy to continue. And in some cases, the parents will then criticize the parenting of doing exactly what they taught their child to do, thus adding to the cycle.
This cycle is often said to because of a parent’s pride, thus somehow making it almost admirable. It really is not, it relates more to the insecurities of the parents and partially from a perspective that somehow parenting is just about being an authoritarian. I believe parenting is more like being a coach. We are given the responsibility to TEACH/COACH our children in how to be the best THEY can be.
If a parent wants respect, then they need to first show it to their children by letting them know you are human, they make mistakes and they can apologize to them, which takes courage which in the end deserves respect.