The verses I picked to day do reflect some of the emotions I am experiencing. I feel as though for almost 10 years now, I have lived a very unfulfilling life and sometimes, I wonder what value I carry not just to God, but to those around me. If I cannot even take care of myself, how can I take care of anything else?
Verse 10, sometimes I feel as though God is there and keeping me down, I know he loves me and is “developing” me, but I wish, as in verse 13, he’d look away so maybe I could have that breath of fresh air before I take my last one definitive breath.
I struggle between God’s want for me and the one I believe God should want for me, this helps express it.
Psalm 39:4–5 (ESV)
4 “O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
5 Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah
Psalm 39:10 (ESV)
10 Remove your stroke from me;
I am spent by the hostility of your hand.
Psalm 39:13 (ESV)
13 Look away from me, that I may smile again,
before I depart and am no more!”