Put it on. . . forever!

Ephesians 6:12–20 (NIV)

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

[ Thought . . .   I included several verses which were not part of my to be original post and the main reason for this is in verse 20.  This is Paul, writing to “us” to NEVER lose faith and yet, he is telling us this from a prison cell where he is chained.

It makes me think of my world right now, how can I complain or feel badly or weaken my faith, when Paul is loudly declaring his faith in Jesus Christ while going through a regiment of punishment.  Put your armor of God on, for when they shoot, you will already be prepared!!


i have failed . . .

I have failed as a Christian I have asked and expected for I thought that we should ask for the Seas thought and expectation that we’ve already received it I have failed in might because of my wavering of my faith I have high days and low days days where I don’t believe it’s going to happen days when I believe God has forgotten me yet so much has gone wrong I wavered in my face I have failed myself I have failed my God i have failed my Christianity

James1:6-8 NIV
But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. [7] That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. [8] Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Ask with confidence. . .

James 1:2-8 NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3] because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. [4] Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. [5] If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. [6] But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. [7] That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. [8] Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Believing is not easy . . . is it?

Jesus Appears to Thomas

John 20:24–29 (NIV)

24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Holy Spirit . . .Acts 8:16

An argument could be developed on this one verse.  I looked up the expression “holy spirit” between the Bible version NIV and ESV, it seemed they agreed on just about every passage found, but one.  I was stunned, I could not figure out what word would be used rather than Holy Spirit, seemed like tough expression to alter.  After looking at the verse and the verses before and after, it’s not so much they used a different word, it’s where they used it.  The NIV, it seems to me had an effort to make more clear what had not yet come and used the word Holy Spirit again and the ESV said “for he. . .” rather than using the same expression again.  Here is a prime example where the structure of the language changed the verse but not the meaning.  

I would always challenge ourselves, when we read “a version” of the Bible, we read more than a verse to gather the meaning of what is being said, rather than challenging the accuracy or inaccuracy of its deity. 


Acts 8:14–17 (NIV)

14 When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to Samaria.15 When they arrived, they prayed for the new believers there that they might receive the Holy Spirit, 16 because the Holy Spirit had not yet come on any of them; they had simply been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 17 Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.

Acts 8:14–17 (ESV)

14 Now when the apostles at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent to them Peter and John,15 who came down and prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, 16 for he had not yet fallen on any of them, but they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 17 Then they laid their hands on them and they received the Holy Spirit.

Hear my cries – My Lord, My God!!

I want to ask you, or maybe you are God.  I am not sur who you are, but I want to ask.  Is it ok to have some self-pity?  I wrote in a previous blog things just seem to continuously get worse; the bumps get higher the obstacles larger.  I know, this is where one digs in and keeps their faith to God and I have, but the bumps have only gotten worse.

I screwed up – so much, not like one might think, but I guess opportunities, something went wrong.  

I got a chance, a friend of mine worked for a small company and he got me a job working there.  It seemed ok for a while, but there was something not right; however, because of issues I had in my life, he grew weary, the owner, and let me go suddenly.  

I ended up in a homeless shelter and that I was working so hard to go well, but with a blink of an eye, something go said that was not the truth and without a word to the wise, a word to defend myself, I was out of it – on the streets.  I spent my first night inside an old empty outhouse.

Somethings did workout, I got a job and was able to get my car legalized and tagged so I could drive it.  I was so happy; however, things have not really uplifted from then.  

My car leaks water and I have to make sure I fill it up with water almost every day; I have not had the money to get it fixed.  My car is not running well the engine idles rough.  My battery, it used to be if I used the auxiliary, it would short out my battery and thus could not start it in the morning.  So, I changed to just turning on the ignition for a moment and the car radio would stay on for 10 minutes and I would do that several times, but now that is causing my battery to die.  My tire, my left front tire has a leak, not the tire, but the rim has rim rot in it thus I have to get a new rim.  I have to make sure the tire is not low.  I walked out of McDonald’s one day and my rear left tire was low, don’t know why.  Glad I had some of that liquid tire sealer on me, so I was not trapped.  The steering, it is showing signs of being tired, I am getting float in the steering – it scares me from time-to-time.  It’s not significant, but makes me want to get it fixed, but don’t have the money.  

Therefore, I am balancing having no place to lay my head but in my car, I live at work, the library and spend my nights at McDonald’s parking lot or Wal-Mart parking lot.  

Not having enough money for my car is causing me worry, so I applied to Amazon, which pays a couple dollars more an hour and guarantees 40 hours.  Therefore, what happens, I went and played some basketball, not even that hard or long, and it bent my knees out of shape, so badly, I cannot walk very far without causing severe pain.  Therefore, I cannot even work any warehouse job because I cannot move far or quickly. 

I went to the ER, because I have no medical, they gave me some “strong” anti-inflammatory and told me to go home.  I am praying I will be able to make my next shift, but as of today, it is not looking that great.  My knee is a little better, but not so much, so I am thinking Thursday will be a breeze.  Therefore, I have to figure out how to get to a primary doctor to get my knees checked out.  I also have to figure out how to provide gas and food for myself.  I do not have income.  

That’s what I mean when the speed bumps come up and the corners sharper, every time I turn around have having to juggle some sort of crisis, and I am tired, I am tired.  I can handle some, but not all of these and for so long.  Ever since 2008, have been trying to get on my feet and nothing, just nothing has come up.  I promised my children I would be there for them and I am failing – failing – failing.  God Help Me Please!!