I do this posting of God’s word and things like my personal testimony for myself. It started out a year back when I was part of a group and we had devotion every morning, I like the idea of having those moments with God first thing in the morning. I do not get to it in the morning, hardly if ever now, but it has made me feel responsible to myself, to read the Bible, find something in it meaningful to me.
I post these to my Blog and it automatically is poste in my FB profile, which then I copy into my Bible Study group. Again, I do not do this for recognition, or any other self-promotion reasons, I have been doing it because it helps me read the Bible and I feel obligated, responsible, wanting to post every day, if possible. In this process, I noticed my post would be seen by a number of people, I thought how cool. After a year of posts, I think I have received a couple like and a couple comments – very short.
The same with the publically poste blog, too much my amazement, I have been blessed with around 60 followers, not something I even expected and am very thankful for. Yet, I seem to get a few likes, but rarely a comment. I am wondering if folks actually read the posts. I do not ask that with condemnation, it takes time and patience to open a post, read and then comment. I do not do it every day, every week. I only mention this because I found it interesting. I do not know if anyone is really reading of my words. In addition, in the FB Bible Study group, I was hoping for a discussion, a chat from time-to-time. With that said, if you read them, I hope you enjoy them, if you like them and do not read them; just knowing you are there is comforting alone. God Bless and on with the rest of my story.
I met up with a friend I have known since 7th grade, I met him via swimming, he was considered the best Butterflyer in the county. He was a rebellious person again all society and what it had to offer, he was a staunch mountain man. His conflict was so strong, I was not sure he would make it all the way to adulthood and beyond. While I was visiting him, we were talking about being a Christian and he told me, “Being a Christian is hard. . .” At that time, I did not fully understand what he meant. However, since I became a Christian my life is not the charter of what society would call success. In fact, most if not all of you would call me a loser, down and out, not invite me over to hang out and have dinner. Moreover, that is ok, that does not change the opinion I have of myself.
In my becoming a Christin and more so afterword’s, my life has been transformed. I am in hopes, that a more harmonized life is available to me, it being in God’s cup for me. As I read the Bible, with the engagement of becoming a better Christian, a disciple, I came across two instructions Jesus had told his disciples. Firstly, before one can truly follow him, there can be no grievances between brothers and sisters. Secondly, one has to give up everything, meaning one cannot place anything more important than the relationship one has with Christ.
I recognized I was still so angry towards the people that were the enablers of me having gone down this very humbling path, to put it lightly. I often would be thinking and in my mind, I would be in court with them on the witness stand and seeing a fearless prosecutor holding them accountable for their words and actions. I realized having these thoughts, I truly had not forgiven them, I was still angry, deeply angry and that anger was the anchor keeping me from where I believe God wants me to go.
Not having anything more important than God, do I? I realized, I did and still do, but to a smaller degree. I love my children more, if God called me and my children called me, I would be frozen, I would not know who to run to first. This is when I had a conversation with God, he asked me: “Do you trust me?”, I said “of course”, then he said: “Give them to me” I know I have not done this fully, I have not let go entirely emotionally. An example: I have Church on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, I have missed so many Wednesdays and Sundays because I put my kid’s activities in front of my activities with God.
I noticed it is easy for me to put God off, he will always be here. I guess in the same way, when I pray, he can also put off the answer. I am not saying there is a correlation, because God looks at our hearts, but I am betting our actions reflect our heart.
Just recently, I mean just recently, I realized I had to have my own events, just as my kids do and those events are Wednesday night and Sunday morning Church!! I often have to think about my relationship with Jesus Christ as what I would want and expect from my own children and wife. If you are married and you have a time to spend with just your wife or husband, but they keep missing or changing the time, would you feel, they feel the relationship is important? That is putting something before God.
I pray for my Christian Brother and sisters that I have not met and I look so forward to meeting you in heaven. God Bless, I love you!!